Cheers.

Going on internet hiatus!
Hope everyone's homes are safe after Friday's fires...

Being Forgiving

There are times when I think about my life and I am disgusted with myself for the disconnect between my lifestyle and my values. I feel guilty. I make excuses. I try to think of the things I would do differently if I weren’t married, if I were richer, if I didn’t have dogs, if I lived somewhere else, if I had more time. Maybe I feel useless. Maybe I feel angry. Maybe I feel frustrated. I certainly feel selfish. Why do I need so much stuff? Why do I use so much energy? Why do I run the heat instead of putting on a jacket? Why don’t I take the bus? Why didn’t I buy my spinach from the farmer’s market? I’m just feeding the system, a cog in the machine. If I really cared, wouldn’t I do better? I know I can’t be alone in feeling this way.

The truth is yes, I do care. Yes, I am educated. Yes, I can change. But change is hard. Change takes time and effort. Changing habits takes mindful concentration. If we are to make an effort to live according to the concepts of sustainability and our personal values, we must simultaneously be forgiving of ourselves and others. Our culture did not arrive at excess overnight and this is not going to change overnight. We can’t even wave a magic wand and immediately transform ourselves. We can’t all be No Impact Man. But we can all make a continuous effort to change, and we can expect to improve over time. We can watch ourselves get better and better.

I haven’t made any steps forward in decreasing my personal environmental impact in recent weeks. I’ve been overwhelmed with the chaos of life – with home renovation projects, with caring for my dogs and family, with trying to eat healthier and be a calmer person, with holiday activities and the fatigue that follows all of these things. And that’s ok. This happens to everyone. Sometimes life moves fast.

 Instead of feeling like a consumerist slacker, I should feel gratitude towards the changes I made earlier on that allowed me to get through this time more sustainably. I should feel thankful that, even when I was overwhelmed with Stuff and Responsibilities and Stuff To Do, I stayed aware of my impacts and open to new information. In all that noise I continued to learn and to think about what I was doing.  My exterior life and habits did not change during this time, but my interior self did. When the stress diminishes and life slows down, I have projects to tackle, changes to make. And, now that I have time to reflect on the last few months, I am able to see that even though I felt like I was being lazy and selfish, I was still improving.

•          I made an effort to buy all of my Christmas gifts from small, local businesses. I made an effort to buy as many of these handmade, eco-friendly gifts as possible, and to go for thoughtful quality over quantity. I also baked my own pumpkin butter to give family members and packed it into reusable, pretty glass jars.

•          We installed a dual-flush low-flow toilet, installed an EnergyStar window, and purchased VOC-free paint. We repurposed a nice sturdy buffet into a pretty bathroom vanity.   

•          We serviced our air conditioner and furnace.

•          I donated good but underappreciated items to Goodwill, the Salvation Army, and friends. I made a small monetary donation to 350.org.

•          I found good homes for much of our construction waste so that it would be reused and stay out of the landfill. 

• (I've done a bit more since I wrote this monologue a month or two ago... but the point remains good!)

·         Then there are the past changes that carry into our present lives, like recycling, using CFLs, having EnergyStar appliances, having newer and therefore lower emission vehicles, and eliminating unnecessary driving.

So I ran my space heater, and failed to program my programmable thermostat. So I failed to go to the farmer’s market this month and went to Crest because it was easier. I’m not perfect. I can’t expect that; we’re only human, and that’s a beautiful thing. We can dream and change. Our tiny efforts all count for something. Every little penny adds up to a dollar; every drop in the ocean makes up the sea. I’m not useless. While I felt I was doing nothing positive, I did do some small amount of good. I bet you did, too. And I will continue to good. I will do better. I will do best. In little steps. In my life time I will preserve a small patch of the earth in my name, a little peace of mind for myself, and a metric ton of good intentions for the future to come, with love for the world around me and all it contains. I will do this, and I will be forgiving of my shortcomings, because I simply am striving to live the best life I can.

We cannot be discouraged. We cannot allow ourselves to feel small and useless and selfish in the face of the whole wide world. We must remember, we must keep sacred in our minds, that the whole wide world is populated only with small people like us. There are no super humans on some far off Olympus whose decisions make a difference while ours do not. The only decisions that ever count are those that you and I make, your neighbor, your brother, your friend, your grocer, your mayor. It is true that some people have more power than others, but your personal footprint is just as important as everyone else’s. A gallon of gasoline you burn costs as much, travels as far, and pollutes as much as a gallon of gasoline burned by Bill Gates.  Individuals make the world what it is. Individuals change the world into what it will be.

Air Quality Advisory... and brief update on me

Today we have simultaneous plumes crossing the state, originating from Texas and fires in SE Oklahoma. Although Oklahoma's air quality is pretty good, this is one of the worse events in recent history, so if you have health conditions or are very young or very old in age it would behoove you to stay indoors this evening. Asthmatic ol' me is going to do just that, despite the seductively pleasant weather.

Now is an excellent time to tell you about the Air Quality Health Advisory mailing list that is provided to Oklahoma citizens by the DEQ. You get up-to-date alerts depicting spiffy graphics like the one below, with some extra information that I am not posting here, whenever conditions bring counties into the orange. (Not often - you might get a dozen emails a year, *maybe.*)

To sign up for the mailing list, go here:  http://www.deq.state.ok.us/aqdnew/AdvisorySignUp.htm
For more info on today's advisory, go here: http://www.deq.state.ok.us/AQDnew/advisory/index.htm

This week has left me feeling unexplainedly exhausted by the end of each day, and unwilling to spend much internet time catching up on emails and doing blog posts... so my apologies for being boring. I'm sure you have other things to do than wait breathlessly for me to get an energy spurt.

Home Energy Audit from Guardian Energy Auditors

I received an energy audit from Guardian Energy Auditors on President’s Day.  The inspection had been scheduled during a period of lower temperatures to make it easier to locate drafts and leaks, and I was asked to slightly elevate the temperature in my home prior to the audit to further increase the temperature difference. 

Our inspector, Todd, was punctual and friendly. As scientists and new home owners who want to learn everything about our house, our interrogations and oversight can be annoying for contractors. Todd, however, did not mind in the least as we followed him around all morning, asking questions and taking pictures. He was patient, gracious and attentive, and seemed to enjoy sharing his knowledge with us. 

The first thing that happened was a blower door test. This depressurizes the home to help identify how well air does (or does not) get from the outside to the inside – we could watch the numbers bounce around as the wind blew! In addition, it can also test the air flow between rooms when doors are open or shut. (Helpful because optimal air flow between rooms will create more efficient heating and cooling) We have a pretty old house… I tried to pressure-mount something against joist several months ago and gave up when it kept causing the ceiling to flex and push out nails in different rooms. Todd did a walkthrough to ensure the depressurization caused no damage, and even in our old house, there was none, so these things must be pretty dang safe. 

The second step was to walk around with a thermal imaging camera, which I found fascinating. I had developed some expectations of where my leaky areas would be and I was far off. Would you expect doors and windows to leak? I did, but our doors and windows were fine. We had leaks from places I did not know could leak, such as corners and baseboards, as well as sockets, plumbing, and almost anywhere two pieces of material touched each other. Even more impressive was that he could point his camera at my wall and show me where my insulation was lacking – it was so obvious with blue squares of cold around the warm colors of the framing inside my walls and ceiling. We joked about finding ghosts on the camera, and he even humored us by letting us use the camera to look at our dogs, explaining as we did so how thermal imaging can be used for medical diagnosis.

He measured the refrigerator wattage with a Kill-a-Watt meter and we followed him into the attic while he inspected our insulation and duct work. He tested for carbon monoxide and natural gas leaks with even more nifty gadgets that go beep, and concluded with an exterior inspection and interview process.

The entire process took about four hours, and all the while he was giving us pointers and explaining how we could make various improvements, and even giving us recommendations and ball park price estimates for different products. We received a 30-page audit report two days later, complete with pretty pictures and charts, categorized monetary savings, and prioritized action items. I was pretty shocked to read that, compared to similar houses, our home was in the bottom 20% for energy efficiency!  I had been under the impression our efficiency was decent to average for a 60-year-old home… but apparently our house is abnormally leaky and drafty as well as being poorly insulated.  According to our report, making suggested improvements can save us $700 per year, the majority of which comes from savings in air conditioning. We’re really going to appreciate our Green Home Loan! (Which is another post for another time)

Re-usable Snack Bags Have Arrived!

As discussed in a previous post, I was unable to find a local source for these. I suppose they would be easy enough to make, if one had a talent in such things (I don't). These came from Etsy's Little Mister store, which is unfortunately not long for this world. I'm sure you could find other sellers with similar products. I was hoping that they would be the same size as sandwich bags, to give my husband a little less change-shock, but they are just slightly smaller. He has looked them over skeptically, promising to try them next week. I think they are quite nice, and the velcro seals look nice and tight, so I expect they will be a good substitute for nearly all of our baggie needs... might have to find other sizes later on, though.

Climate Change as an Animal Behavior Experiment

I find climate change endlessly fascinating. It precipitates a speeding up of so many fundamental processes – meteorology, evolution, geology, and ecosystem progression, to name the first few that come to mind. It’s also a huge-scale experiment on animal behavior, and I’m not just talking about polar bears here, people. I’m talking about homo sapiens: you and me. Questions that are normally philosophical, such as whether or not we as a species are truly as adaptable and intelligent as we suppose we are, are about to be measured quantitatively in upcoming decades and generations.

If you’ve never taken a basic animal behavior course, I highly recommend it as one of the most interesting classes I’ve ever had. It explains many simple things such as why one may have an uncontrollable urge for spices, sugar or alcohol, why one may not ever want to eat chicken again after a bad night at KFC, and why one may lean towards altruism. It draws so many parallels between the behavior of humans and the behavior of birds and toads and monkeys that you may not feel so species-superior at the end of it, because we are all subject to the same processes. Bottom line, we evolved to do what we do for a reason, and that reason is somewhere in history this habit was vital for either the survival of ourselves, our offspring, or our community.

To supplement this, there is a basic concept in ecosystem studies called the Tragedy of the Commons. This is not a concept that lends itself to quick explanations, but the crux of it is that people have no meaningful incentive to use less resources now in order to ensure that those resources will be around later. Survival and social mechanisms kick in, and people will over consume, even knowing the consequences. You can Google it for details.

Basically, there are very sound psychological and biological mechanisms hard-wired into humans as a species that has led us to over-consume our planet.   Burning fossil fuels, over-producing agricultural lands, and having multiple babies does not make us evil. Our oft-times destructive and selfish lifestyles aren’t a symptom of stupidity. They’re a symptom of being alive, of being one more creature on the planet competing to survive. We have become like this because it has allowed us to prosper more easily as a species.  You can only accept so much guilt for being a “victim” of nature. The catch is that we are a species like no other... a highly creative, highly intelligent species that finds it easier to adapt the world to itself rather than adapt itself to the world; a species with no boundaries across the globe. Our food, our products, our people, our pollution – we share with all the world in a big way.

So now that we know that our actions are unsustainable stressors on our environment and lifestyles, the question that really matters is: Are we strong enough as a species to make major changes that go against our evolution? Can we fundamentally change our nature to care for the Commons together? It’s the brain versus evolution. Collective will power versus science.

The processes of nature will go on, with or without us. “Without us” is a point in the distant future, but we are intelligent enough to look that far ahead, find potential threats to our species, and act to postpone extinction. The scenario of climate change gives us few possible outcomes. We can keep going as we are until we are no longer able, then adapt quickly enough to survive in a changed world. We can keep going as we are without adaptation, and possibly lose our foothold in the ecosystem altogether (that’s death, folks). We can make a half hearted effort, slow down the change, and still find ourselves faced with adaptation or extinction on some future date. Or we can all act together as one to make a change large enough to repair the damage and maintain our lifestyles indefinitely. Whatever the outcome, it will be an interesting road. My inquiring mind is a bit sad that I may be dead of old age before the answer becomes evident, but only time will tell.

FYI

Placed an entry on the ECOme page...